To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
