you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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