Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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