Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize