Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
