Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
