Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I stole a fireplace last night.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
