windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
