she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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