he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
