batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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