i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
