"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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