this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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