My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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