yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I hope mine doesn't look like that
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
