i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Im part way to drunk.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
