it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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