I wanna passion pit in your ass
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
3pm strippers are depressing
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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