I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
