I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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