If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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