I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize