i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
