At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
