And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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