sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo