Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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