I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
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Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
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That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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