Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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