that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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