good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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