We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize