I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize