If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
