your thong is hanging out like whoa
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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