big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
