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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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