Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
