Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
