Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Randomize
