I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
