you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
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Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
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I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Floor bacon is actually really good
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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