marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize