so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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