Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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