just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
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You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
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The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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