sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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