Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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