There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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