You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
