can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
