just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize