She's JV to your varsity
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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