I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize