I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on