My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Come see our sink grown plant.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea