Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"

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  (402): apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy" http://tfl.nu/lm9p
  Replies (20) Good night (5296) Bad night (746)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  what did you do?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i asked her out. that's so hot.

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  (203): she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex. (860): what did you do? (203): i asked her out. that's so hot. http://tfl.nu/dg3d
  Replies (56) Good night (9589) Bad night (915)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him

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  (954): my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him http://tfl.nu/k9ng
  Replies (28) Good night (4833) Bad night (918)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.

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  (270): So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/0mbm
  Replies (20) Good night (5202) Bad night (699)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.

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  (913): Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in. http://tfl.nu/xn3x
  Replies (16) Good night (866) Bad night (3232)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.

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  (404): A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show. http://tfl.nu/h6zp
  Replies (16) Good night (7697) Bad night (926)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out

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  (304): tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out http://tfl.nu/97pi
  Replies (9) Good night (1173) Bad night (5479)
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  (661): View more from California

  It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.

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  (661): It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job. http://tfl.nu/htiz
  Replies (32) Good night (5238) Bad night (1308)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.

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  (423): I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him. http://tfl.nu/dili
  Replies (5) Good night (3734) Bad night (1130)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.

  (1-318): View more from Louisiana

  Stop giving me tequila.

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  (318): After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do. (1-318): Stop giving me tequila. http://tfl.nu/y3ru
  Replies (6) Good night (2188) Bad night (573)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin

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  (816): And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin http://tfl.nu/pn96
  Replies (7) Good night (501) Bad night (1061)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.

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  (502): I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon. http://tfl.nu/32fk
  Replies (2) Good night (719) Bad night (606)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING

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  (407): OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING http://tfl.nu/avf7
  Replies (4) Good night (751) Bad night (438)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous

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  (412): I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous http://tfl.nu/3tdu
  Replies (2) Good night (380) Bad night (203)
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  (858): View more from California

  Is she okay?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.

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  (858): Is she okay? (773): She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine. http://tfl.nu/rwoi
  Replies (0) Good night (393) Bad night (214)

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