Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
